Love is great when it is spoken, but it is greatest when it is shown. Do small things every day to show your loved ones that you care.
Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on a park bench in the early afternoon when an elderly couple parked their car under a nearby oak tree. They rolled down the windows and turned on jazz music on the car radio. The man then got out of the car, walked to the passenger side, opened the door for the woman, took her hand and led her about ten feet from the car, and they slowly danced to the song under the oak tree. It was such a beautiful moment to witness.
When I opened my laptop to write this morning, an elderly couple immediately came to mind. I spent a few minutes daydreaming about them, wondering how long they had been together and what their best relationship advice would be. And just as I caught my mind wandering even further, a new email appeared in my inbox from a reader named Cory. The first line of the email asked: “Any good old-fashioned advice for strengthening our relationships?”
The synchronicity of my dreams and Cory’s question made me smile. So in honor of this beautiful older couple, and for Cory’s relationship investigation, here are some old-fashioned habits we can practice bringing back into our relationships, starting gradually today:
1. Spend quality time together, without major goals and without technology.
Put down your smartphone, close your laptop and enjoy each other’s company, face to face the old-fashioned way. There are few joys in life that compare to a good conversation, a good laugh, a long walk, a friendly dance, or a big hug shared by two people who care about each other. Sometimes the most ordinary things can be made extraordinary by simply doing them with the right people. So try to be around these people and try to make the most of your time together.
Don’t wait to implement your big plans. Make your uninterrupted time together a plan. Communicate openly on a regular basis. Meet in the flesh as often as possible. Not because it’s convenient, but because you know each other, it’s worth the extra effort.
2. Be fully present when you are in the presence of others.
One of the best feelings in the world is knowing that both your presence and absence mean something to someone. The only way to let your loved ones know about it is to show them when you are with them. Nothing you can give in your relationships and interactions with others is more valued than your sincere, focused attention – your full presence. Being with someone, listening without a clock and waiting for the next event is the highest compliment. This is truly the most valuable gesture you can make towards another person.
remember that Your friends and family are too beautiful to ignore. Give them the gift of YOU today – your time, undivided attention and kindness. It’s a better gift than any other gift, it won’t break or get lost and will always be remembered. (To read “Back to Love”.)
3. Express your sincere appreciation for your loved ones at every opportunity.
No matter how confident you are in someone’s appreciation and admiration, it’s always nice to be reminded of it. So if you appreciate someone today, tell them so. Just because they are extremely reliable and always there when you need them, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t thank and appreciate them regularly. Being too dismissive of someone means you risk losing the depth of their goodness before they pass on.
Unfortunately, it is often only when we are tragically reminded how short life is – when someone we love dies – that we begin to appreciate the importance of openly expressing our love. Let this lesson sink in for you now. Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell the people you love how much you appreciate them.
4. Collaborate and help each other grow.
There is no soul mate or best friend who will solve all your problems. There is no love at first sight that lasts without work and commitment. However, there are people worth fighting for. Not because they are perfect, but because they are imperfect in every way that suits you — you compliment each other’s flaws in a way that allows your souls to unite and function more effectively as one…
You’ll know when you meet one of these people when thanks to them you will meet the best in you.
5. Focus on your inner beauty.
When you really get to know someone, most of their most important physical features disappear from your mind. You begin to inhabit their energy, recognize their scent and appreciate their wit. You see only the essence of a person, not the shell.
That’s why you can’t fall in love with physical beauty. You may desire it, be infatuated with it, or want to possess it. You can love with your eyes and body for a moment, but not with your heart in the long run. Therefore, When you truly connect with your inner self, most physical imperfections become irrelevant.
6. Tell the truth.
Too many prefer soft lies to hard truths. But don’t be fooled, After all, it’s better to be hurt by the truth than to be comforted by a lie. Lying is also a cumulative process, so be careful…
What begins as a small, seemingly innocent lie (perhaps even intended not to hurt anyone) quickly turns into an increasing false reality. We lie to each other, but we lie to ourselves even more to protect our fragile egos. As we read this, we may even be inclined to lie to ourselves, not wanting to admit how often we have missed the truth. (To read “The Four Agreements”.)
7. Apologize when you know you should.
Take personal responsibility for your bad deeds. If you know that your actions or words have hurt someone you care about, immediately admit your mistakes and face the reality of your actions. Sincere apologies are the great glue for lasting relationships.
Also make sure your apology is sincere. Say it and mean it. Don’t bother apologizing if you’re going to keep doing what you apologized for. Never ruin an apology with an excuse. There are excuses NO Apology.
8. Solve problems in your relationships, not with others.
This may seem obvious, but it’s worth mentioning in this day and age: don’t post negatively about your loved one on social media. 14-year-old girls post negative things about their boyfriends, girlfriends and friends on social media. This is a smart way to get attention and vent, while an emotionally healthy response is to discuss your complaints with them directly when the time comes.
Moreover, relationships don’t always make perfect sense, especially from the outside. So don’t let outsiders manage your relationships for you. If you have a relationship problem with someone, solve it with THEM and no one else. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of the book “1000 little things that happy, successful people do differently”.)
9. Be a positive and encouraging force.
Raise your inner game. Negativity is way below your horizon!
피망 머니상 거래방법 If you focus on the positives, it will make a huge difference in your life and the lives around you. And remember, Being positive doesn’t mean ignoring the negative – being positive means overcoming the negative. There is a big difference between them.
So encourage your best in your thoughts, words and actions at every opportunity. And pass this philosophy on to your loved ones as well. Help them see the light.
10. Overpromise.
To be obliged. Commitment means remaining committed and keeping your promises long after the time and mood in which you made them have passed. This is essential for your relationships and long-term success in every possible walk of life.
In other words, don’t just say it, show it. Don’t just promise, prove it. Keep all your promises! Deliver more than required. Or as Anne Frank once said, “No one ever became poor by giving.” Whenever you can, go out of your way and do something nice and unexpected for the people in your life, especially those who won’t be able to repay you in the near future.
11. Be loyal.
Stand by those you care about in their darkest moments, not because you want to stand in the dark, but because they don’t want you to either. Brave the shadows next to them until they find the light. On the other hand, stand by those same people on their sunniest days, not because you want to burn your skin, but because you’re not afraid to let them shine brightly.
Bottom line: Be loyal. Staying faithful in relationships is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty means the world to the people who love you. When someone believes in you enough to lift you up, try not to let them down. You can’t promise to be there for someone for the rest of their life, but you can honestly be there for them for the rest of your life.
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, now it’s your turn to reflect on the above relationship habits and start practicing them. This is also a great time to reflect on recent birthday celebrations and holidays where gifts may be exchanged, and the fact that as you grow older and wiser, your gift wish list becomes smaller and smaller because the things you really want and need – time, real relationships, meaningful moments and peace of mind – can’t be bought. So do everything you can to connect with the people you love the old-fashioned way and give your life more meaning in the days and weeks ahead.
But before you go, leave a comment for Marc and me below and let us know what you think of this article. Your opinion is important to us. 🙂
Which of the above relationship habits or points resonated the most today?
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